nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
