Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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