before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize