You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize