great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Randomize
