I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
