Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
