problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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