so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
