I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize