cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
