Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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