recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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