Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
