do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
