just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
