so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize