i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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