Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
