the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
