Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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