I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
