sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
