im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
i now understand why vodka
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
