one might say we're banned from that church
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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