You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Randomize
