I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
