Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
