Screwed.edu
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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