We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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