Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
