Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
