So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize