he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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