goodnight i made you a song goodbye
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize