respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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