I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
