I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
