Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
