Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
