I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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