I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
