so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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