i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he thought i was a dude.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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