Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
