well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
