you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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