I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
