respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
