i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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