Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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