how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
