strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize