id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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