hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
