dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
