Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
