idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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