Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
