can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
