just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
