Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
