We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
