You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
