I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
