Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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