Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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