Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
